Retail Employee Day

When working in any retail store, you're expected to be courteous, polite, and kind to the customer at all times, even (and especially) when you really don't want to. However, sometimes I really wish I could say what was really on my mind when a customer pushes me too far or is being difficult. When I mentioned this to my boyfriend, who also works in retail, he came up with the idea of a retail employee day. It works like this: 1. Employees do not need to wear a uniform to work on this day. 2. Employees can say whatever they want to anyone (including managers) without getting in trouble as long as they don't use any swear words. 3. Sarcasm is allowed. 4.Employees must still attend to customers. 5. Jobs still need to be completed by the end of the day. 6. No employee is allowed to take this day off if they are scheduled to work. Don't worry, customers will be warned so they don't won't sue the hell out of a retail company for getting bad service. I think it would be best to post signs outside the stores that read:

"Warning! Toady is retail employee day. Expect to be met with sarcasm, rudeness, bluntness, rolled eyes, and possible laughter among other activities and comments in response to your possible impatience, rudeness, self centeredness, spoiled/fat children, etc. etc. etc. We are not responsible for any hurt feelings, annoyance, or discomfort you may experience today. You have been officially warned. Have a nice day :).--The Staff of (insert store here)."

I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to say something to someone when I couldn't at the risk of losing my job. Normally I like the people I interact with at the zoo, but sometimes even nice people like me can be pushed too far. Below is a list of things I really wish I could say sometimes:

Q: Is there anything for free here?
A: The air is free. Feel free to take as much as you want.

Q: Do you work here?
A: Do you shop here? or No, I just like wearing retail uniforms and badges to confuse people like you.

Q: Can we pay for this up here?
A: No, we just have a register up here for decoration.

To spoiled kids who cannot seem to put things back where they found them: Hey you, want to put that back where you got it? or Didn't your mother ever teach you how do put things away,or are you just so spoiled you expect everyone to pick up after you? or Hey! I'm not your mom! Put that back!

To people in general who don't put things back where they got them: I'm not your mother, okay? Please put that back where you got it! or I'm not paid to be your personal maid. Put that back where you got it please.

To kids who ask me too many questions and can't seem to take the hint when I try to ignore them: Let's play a game. It's called "let's see who can be quiet the longest". or simply: Shut up and leave me alone you annoying little brat! or Go bother someone else for awhile. I'm busy ignoring you.

To the snooty, stuck up, spoiled people: Sorry, we don't serve spoiled brats like you here.

I could go on for ever, but I think you get the idea. I guess what I'm trying to say is, be nice to retail employees. We work hard, and we're people too. We aren't paid enough to be your personal punching bags. Cut us a little slack now and then.